(Originally Posted 9th June 07)
Why does it have to be bad for you? Why can't my body be 50 - 65% lager? It's just not fair. And why does it have to be so god damn expensive too, resulting in my bank account getting a right royal hiding every month?
I hereby start my campaign for scientists to genetically modify human beings so that future generations of the human race do not suffer as I do now. I implore brainy science boffins everywhere to give up their projects and dedicate their lives, skills and knowledge base to invent this new and improved species of human.
Either that or will somebody please give me £20 so I can go down the pub?
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